The Kids Are Alright - Mostly

On Friday I showed up at my parents' for my dad's 82nd birthday. The house reeked of so much smoke, I had to ask: "Are you guys curing hams?" I told them I couldn't stay here as it seems they haven't opened a window since Thanksgiving, preserving the cigarette smoke in the carpet, drapes, and furniture fabric. My dad made it worse by going to the store to buy Pine-sol aerosols, Glade wall plug-ins, and Renuzit room fresheners. Gagging from the newly fluorocarbonated mountain breeze and berry splash vapor infusion that burned my eyes and made my mouth tingle, I told him no when he asked if the house smelled any better.

I tried to check into the hotel behind our house on Bank Street, but it was full with the Decatur High School Class of 1980 reunion (like I want to run into any of those fuckers) and a Jehovah Witness convention (like I want to run into any of those fuckers). I went up the road to the Holiday Inn by the Keller Memorial Bridge where they had one room left. I looked around the lobby and noticed teenage kids in these goofy-ass fantasy costumes. I asked the woman at the reception: “What's with the ears and the robes.” And she said: "Japanese Anime." (For more amazing pictures, click here.)

Initially my thought was to mock these poor nerdy, pimply-faced children. How stupid they looked (although a couple of them did look pretty hot)? But as I politely asked to take their pictures to post here for world-wide web ridicule, I began to marvel at their homemade costumes, courage to dress up in public, and proudly wave their freak flag -- far from the taunts of the jocks and the popular kids. And then I remembered, I dressed as the Elephant Man in high school, as Sid Vicious at the National Honor Society induction ceremony and began to chant in the Astro-turf covered convention hall by the cloudy indoor pool: "One of us! One of us!"